Orgasm Blocking Thoughts (and what to do about them)

 Image by Carlota Guerrero

We've all been there. 

In the throes of passion nearing our edge and suddenly a few words echo inside our heads:

"Am I taking too long?" or "Is my partner enjoying themselves?" or "My stomach must be jiggling." (Quick look down) "It's definitely jiggling." (Feelings of mortification. 

The building pressure immediately disappears and we begin to start over. Or far worse, give up. This can easily (and quickly) become a terrible cycle that we endure every single time we're intimate with our partners. It can become a point of stress. Of shame. Of dread and apprehension. When it gets really bad we completely stop pursuing sex in general. Which can inevitably lead to even more thoughts and feelings of low self-image.

It's time to break out of the cycle. We owe it to ourselves. But how?

Over on Girl Boner Radio, August McLauglin and Kara Lowentheil have the answer.

If you never heard of Girl Boner, it's the work of health and sexuality writer, media personality, and sex-positive activist August McLaughlin. Through her internationally renown book, blog, and podcast, August challenges stigmas and stereotypes regarding female pleasure. Her work is informative, fun, and potentially life-changing; especially for those who self-identified as "good girls" or come from strict upbringings. She encourages women to understand and accept their bodies and strives to demystify female sexuality. Check out her work and see if you can integrate it into your life. Loving and accepting every bit of yourself can change your entire outlook.

On this episode of the podcast, August speaks with feminist confidence coach and host of podcast "Unfuck Your Brain", Kara Lowentheil who helps get to the root of this common problem and comes up with practical and easy solutions.

Our favorite, by far, was simply inserting new thoughts into your head when those negative ones creep into your mind during the act. But start slow, Kara says. So instead of trying to think "I'm a f*cking goddess!!" while your sizing up your body, start with "This is a human body." This simple act of normalization can begin to change things for your slowly but surely. 

Take a listen to the entire episode here or wherever you listen to podcasts and let us know what you think in the comments below.

Here are some questions to get you started:

  • What are some insights you learned from this episode?
  • How can you integrate these practices in your life in a way that's personal and specific to you?
  • Do you believe it's important to seek pleasure as a woman? Why?

 

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